..love is waiting for you..

My grandpa told me yesterday, Monday 4/26/10 while sitting his guest room while we visited that he came to the realization that one day some great man is going to sweep me off my feet before I have a chance to realize what is happening. He said that he had been thinking about me for awhile, prayed and felt inspired to tell me that I needed to just let go and let the good Lord do his thing. We weren't even really talking about such things in our conversation but some how it turned to dating and guys, and as it did my grandpa knew just what to see at the right moment. He said that we may have to choose who we marry but it is the Lord who guides our path, by allowing him to do and choosing to trust him, you are able to let go... Just let go... Something I hear a lot and something I'm finding to be true in most areas of life, especially with love. This afternoon I came home from work to find a letter from President Thomas S. Monson. He had written in response to a letter that I had written him on 4/9/10. He shared with me this, Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thin own understanding. In all thy way's acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3: 5-6) I find it only amazing that such insight was shared with me at the same time that my loving grandpa shared his.

Just when you think you aren't sure why things happen the way they do, you are reminded that sometimes that's the point. You aren't to know, that all you need to know is to trust in the Lord and let him guide you, the rest will follow. With that said, love is not something you think about. Love is not something you should have to over think or pick at to death. Love is simple, pure and innocent. We as humans make things so complicated when all the keys have been provided for us but because of their simple nature we just can't seem to believe them with out hitting the ground hard & fast, by simply putting our whole trust in him and letting him in our hearts the greatest joys will be ours.

My simple lesson that I'm learning this week... You are not waiting for love, Love is waiting for you. 

..equality..

I have read and listen to many people share their thoughts and views on equality so much so that I find myself getting rather annoyed. I have always wanted to respond back to the out landish things that I hear but usually find myself holding back due to the fact that I know I wouldn’t really be saying what is that I want. As I sit here relaxed, clearly thinking and really pondering what is that I want to say, I finally feel fit to express.


Equality: the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability, uniform character as of motion or surface; mathematics, a statement that two quantities are equal. Here we are with the definition of the word and I can honestly assume that most of us don’t really understand the meaning of equality. We are all so quick to point fingers, judge and pass status on each other that we never stop to think that we are all just a like in one way or another. I say this because I can admit that I have done that on more than one occasion. I’m guilty of being imperfect myself and finding the imperfections in someone else.

As many of you know and those of you who don’t… Yes! I’m Mormon. Born and raised Latter Day Saint of the Church of Jesus Christ. I’m not ashamed of my heritage or my religion. It’s a part of me and has truly helped shape me in to the person that I am today. Being LDS I have had the gracious chance to see good things happen and beautiful light be provided. And with all things I have also seen the bad and maybe even been apart of the not so great moments. Either way what I have learned is that it’s not the person who makes the religion; religion is a set of beliefs, a set of guidelines. You may choose to act upon those stepping stones that your religion has laid out for you or you can go your own way. With this said… Those who have been offended, hurt or left out keep in mind that it was not the religion that did this to you but the person or persons who took the time to insure you leaving with such feelings. No man is perfect, we all have times where we could have handle a situation better but didn’t. We are all guilty of being imperfect and because so we can not judge but only try to understand. If there is anything that I have learned is that you just never know where someone has been or what they have gone through. And sometimes by understanding a person you come to understand why they may have done what they did or said. Does this mean you become best friends with every single person who has wronged you in some way and trust them to never do it again? No or course not, what this means is you trust yourself enough to forgive, forget and move forward. You can love others from a distance and part of the way of doing that is not continuing the hate, the hurt or ill feelings. You have the choice to end it and leave it.

I’m sorry to those of you having been offended because of something someone might have said or done and they happen to be LDS. I’m sorry that in some way you feel unaccepted or not wanted because of my church. Please know that the foundation of my religion is Christ like love. We may not agree with everything in this world but that doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t love another or go out of our way to help someone, these are the whole building blocks of our beliefs, to love one to another.


Equality is to love each other with out finding fault, to help one another without finding blame and to give to each other without expecting something. It is to see past the imperfections and find the beauty with in. It is to care enough and hate less… Equality is to agree to disagree and understand that just because someone may not share your beliefs does not make them a bad person, it is to be able to let go of your pride and open your heart. Equality is to understand that no man is perfect, we all share imperfections, and that our lives are meant to be shared. Equality takes at least two. You can not be equal with out a second member.

I ask you a question, who are you to judge another? I think the answer is pretty obvious for each of us. We are no one. We have no standing, no footing to judge another according to what we think is right; it is not our place to do so. But, it is our place to love when needed and care when called. No matter where you come from, where you are going, the color of your skin or how you pray we are all the same in some way or another, and we share imperfections. Equality is a choice we make every day and it is up to us to remember that we set the rules of who is our equal every day we pass judgment – meaning we set the expectations on each other and when someone doesn’t pass we only have ourselves to blame.

..a little me time..

So this last weekend I spent down in Southern UT, St. George to be exact. It was GREAT! I drove down Friday, April 23, 2010 with my friend Annie and we stayed till Monday (today) April 26, 2010. We drove down in rain and snow only to find ourselves arriving in clear skies and sunshine! It was a joy to be out & about in 75 degree weather and soaking in the rays while sitting pool side and than of course having some fun out at the lake. We stayed with my Uncle Clint and his family. It was awesome for them to give us a place to stay and than to take us boating! So much fun! Thank you uncle & auntie!

So... Friday we arrived in George town around 4pm or so. We sat and visited for some time with my Aunt Laura which is always great. She is an amazing person so it's always nice just to sit and catch up. We talked about family, friends, played getting to know you with Annie since she had never met her before and of course talked about life stuff. She has such great insight and such a powerful spirit. I'm so grateful she is my aunt. After girl talk we decided to go get some dindin at the local Red Robin's. My aunt & cousins came along and after dinner of course it was only right to hit a movie. We picked "The Last Song" such a sad movie but really good. I was pleasantly surprised. But, if you are a guy... I don't recommend it unless you really are wanting to impress your girl. I say only because I'm pretty sure most guys wouldn't enjoy it. My cousin Grant was a good sport and sat through the whole movie... We love him for spending his Friday night with us girls. After the movies we hit the sack... We were pretty tuckered out from our day of driving.

Saturday... We woke up before anyone else in the house hold.. LOL We ran some errands, grabbed some yummy breakfast, muffins and super healthy fruit smoothies... And yes, they were so yummy! We walked around the outlet's and than headed back to the house. We than slipped into our bathing suits and hit pool side! Books in hand and tanning lotion rubbed in... We were soaking in the sunshine and loving it. I won't lie... I'm totally sun kissed! Love it! Around 1:30 or so my uncle was ready to hit the lake and so were we! Packed up the boat, the car, our purses and we were out the door to Sand Hallow. What a great time! The sun was out and it was just beautiful outside! Of course being that it was only April the water was still heck'a cold we made do. All of us girls were to weak (won't lie) to hit the water but we enjoyed relaxing on the boat and watching the boys do their thing on surfing behind the boat. We were out at the lake for about 3 hours or so and than off to home we went. Once home us girls hit up Sally Beauty Supplies to do our toes and than of course... Ordered some take out from The Pizza Factory .. YUMMY!  My aunt & uncle went off to do their date night while us young folks enjoyed of pizza, painting nails, movies and HOT TUBBIN'! Such a great night=) 

Sunday... We got up... Showered... Made ourselves pretty... Had some breakfast and than we were out the door. We had a plan to hit church but of course we were distracted by the outlet's and instead did some shopping. I got 3 pair of cute shoes, new sunglasses, and a very cute black pencil skirt. I plan on looking pretty adorable this summer.. Just you wait! After shopping we went home, changed, and had some yummy food that my wonderful aunt was so kind to prepare for us. After dinner we had some more awesome girl chat with my aunt. Again, she is an amazing woman. I truly enjoyed my time with her and talking. What a great thing to now be at an age where I can have such an amazing conversations with people in my life that I have always looked up to. We decided to have ourselves a Glee night... Seeing how I have yet to ever watch the show we thought it only to be right to have ourselves a little marathon. Okay... Ummm... Glee is AMAZING! I love it! And I'm so buying the seasons! Ha! We stayed up till about 1:30am watching ourselves some Glee and than finally we all were having trouble holding our eyes open, so bed time was our next exciting event we attended. Great day! 

Monday, the day of leaving. We woke up... showered, packed and cleaned. Breakfast was made for us... And it was yummy! Thank you Rob! We packed the car up, hit up Harmon's for thank you cards and flowers and than returned once more to say good bye and make our deliver of flowers & thank you cards. After leaving my uncle's we headed to my wonderful grandparents for a visit before heading home to Salt town. I made sure to also have some flowers for my beautiful grandmother. We visited with my grandpa & grandma for about an hour & half... Such a treat! =) I'm THE luckiest girl in the world! They are two amazing people and I'm so grateful to have them in my life and a constant part of my life. What great examples. After visiting with them we were on the road again.... 

It was an amazing weekend of fun and relaxation. Just what I needed to feel good again and ready to start another new week of life. I'm so grateful for such amazing family and friends to be able to spend my time with and have such a great time doing so.

..something to tell..

October 10, 2009 , 7:30 AM on a Saturday morning my parents and I drove down to the Salt Lake Temple. For the first time in my life I was going in to the house of the Lord to do something that I couldn't wait to do, something that I had worked so hard to come to, I was going in to receive of my endowments. I can't talk about that day with out crying. I can't talk about that day with out being reassured over and over again that God is real that this gospel is true and that life as we live is truly something blessed. 

Because of how special that time was in the temple I want to keep personal, but I will share some of my thoughts and feelings from that day and things leading up to that moment. Prior to making the decision to go through the temple, things in my life were a little off balance for my taste. I was struggling with finding me and really understanding where exactly it was that I wanted to be. I had been going back and fourth for sometime over the choice, to go through or to not go through, wait or do it now. I had been talking and working with my bishop and it wasn't till I was sitting in church one day listening to a speaker and they said that there is peace to be had when connecting with your Savior in his house and there is hope to be found when placing your fears in his hands and letting go. In that moment... I knew what it was that I needed to do. I was ready to make that step and committment. I went in to see my bishop and from the moment I walked in to that appointment the process was set in motion. I started taking the temple prep classes and speaking more with my family about what I was preparing to do. And as I was doing so I really came to understand just how close our Heavenly Father was to us and just how real the Savior is. 

I'll never forget the stresses that seem to come flowing into my life at that moment once the steps had started. It seemed like the whole world was out to get me and I just couldn't shake that bad feeling. It was a sure sign for me that I was doing the right thing that someone else didn't want me to succeed. Someone else wanted me to fail. That morning walking to the temple it was as though someone had come and just lifted my weights of this world right off of my shoulders, that something just washed over me, helping me to see the joy that is life. I have never felt such greater peace than I did that day. Such a beautiful moment that I will forever cherish. 

Now walking out of the temple and being with my family & friends the world seemed so much clearer to me. I felt as though I was looking through someone else's eyes and seeing the world in a completely different way. 

That day was amazing. It was amazing for so many reason other than just me receiving my endowments. It was amazing because, 1) I was receiving my endowments. 2) I was there with my parents, brothers, grandparents, and friends. 3) It was my great grandmother's birthday. 4) I was going through the same temple that both of my parents went through for theirs', my brothers had gone through, and my great grandmother had worked in and while working there she was one who helped girls with their first time through. All things were things that completely confirmed to me that I was where I needed and should be. 

I have never know such love the way that I felt that day in the temple. I'm so grateful to be apart of this gospel and so grateful to know that there is nothing greater than the love of our Heavenly Father and his begotten son, our Savior. We have no reason to fear, only every reason to live life fully and to embrace the bad as much as we do. To make every moment count for something and to be hopefully when everything seems to be at a lost. 

It is my prayer that you all one day get to feel the love that YOUR Heavenly Father has for you. That one day those that are struggling may find the peace that I have and that those who are lonely may always know that they are NEVER alone, that the Lord hears them, loves them, and is always with them. I pray for each of you and hope that love is always yours.

..joy in letting go..

Let me pose a question... Is it easier to hash it out or easier to just let it go? Now that, that is rolling around in your head add this next question in the mix... Letting something go, does that depend on what it is and if so why? I ask these questions cause these are the very things rolling around in this lovely little mind of my, this mind that sometimes I wish that I had an off button to. Why are these questions swimming in my world of thoughts? For many reasons and for a lot of reason that don't really make sense to me.

Let's start with the reason that make sense to me, shall we?
1) Drama: The point of when crap hits the fan and all hell breaks loose, the point when you have no choice but to deal with issue at hand.
2) Adulthood: Part of being an adult is knowing when to walk away and when to say something, sometimes half the battle is being strong enough to say enough is enough.
3) The point: When someone wrongs you there comes this moment where all you think about is making a point, making a point to prove them wrong and make yourself "feel better" but what does that serve?
Now there are more reasons but overall these are my top 3, these reasons of why I have such thoughts in my head & why I'm learning there is great joy in being able to "just walk away", to walk away from the things that really make no point to continue to deal with.
Now my reasons that make no sense...
1) Emotional: I'm a girl... Let's just be honest here... We girls tend to over look things and make things way more personal then they need to be.
2) Stubborn: I'm as stubborn as they come, I want to control things and because so I can't seem to let things go when I should.
There you have it... I think that pretty much sums up my non-making sense thoughts... They both pretty much speak for themselves. Translation... I'm a girl, enough said.

Okay, why am I going on and on in circles about this... Let me tie this all together for you. Short story, something happen with a friend, something in the sense where I vented about things to someone else rather than talking to my friend directly like an adult and that someone else told my friend who than in turn is now upset with me. When my friend confronted me about what was said I owned up, admitted that I did in fact do something wrong and apologized for doing so. She isn't speaking to me, which I can respect, I wasn't expecting her to due to the fact that I handled myself poorly. Anyways... I as much as I feel bad about what happen I walked away from the situation knowing that in the end I did do the right thing. It took me a minute to get there but in the end I did.
I could have gotten to that point so much faster if I had just gotten over myself and pride, and talked to my friend. I should have confronted her with my issues directly rather than "venting" and than thinking that I could just let it go after that. So My lesson to share for the evening is that life really is too short to not express your feelings, it doesn't me that you have make it a fight about everything but you can find healthier ways resolve ones frustrations and finding the joy in just letting go.
I'm am not a perfect person and I don't ever plan to be one, but I do plan on to strive to be better every day and by doing so I am reminded that I am a good person. I am a person who is still able to learn new tricks so to speak and that those who really love me will always be a part of my life.

..with in the mistake the correct answer can be found..

I'm finding that there is great peace to be found in owning up to the things you have failed in. Coming to the realization that I still have so much to learn hasn't been an easy thing, but it hasn't been the worst thing either. Knowing that even though I may fail in the area of friend, co-worker, daughter, and/or individual at times, it doesn't make me a bad person it just makes me human. I'm learning to be okay with my many imperfections, that just because I don't get things right this time around doesn't mean that I won't the next time.

I use to get so caught up in trying to please everyone and be something/someone that I thought that I needed to be in order to fit what the world thought that I lost myself. I spent so much time looking for what I thought that I needed and not enough time on what I already had which was everything and more. I spent so much time letting others take that when I felt the need for a friend those same people who took seemed to have disappeared.

In my constant frustration with the flip flopper's in my life I was too weak to confront them, only instead to talk behind their backs. I learned that there is no justice in "venting" only gossip and more frustration. I not only hurt the person that I spoke about but I hurt myself from finding joy in just moving forward in my life and letting things go. It is in the very moment that I was called out on the thing that I said that I was able to really find some peace, the peace that I didn't even know that I needed. I was able to see some light in myself due to the opportunity to do the right thing. The right thing being to respectfully own up to what I had done and admit that I had handled it poorly and apologize for doing so. Once I did that I was able to see that there was greater satisfaction in admitting my wrong than trying to dispute it. I was able to learn a great lesson, that there is an answer with in the mistake you just have to be willing to take the time to find it.

I think that the biggest thing that I was able to walk away with from this was that life is simple... There is no reason for it to be difficult. You either apologize or you don't, you forgive or you don't, OR you move on or you don't. There is only right or there is wrong and there is light or there is dark, it is up to us to decide which path in this journey and once we do it's our blessing to learn & grow every step that we take.

Again, I may not be perfect and yes, I have so much to learn in this great life but overall I love who am I as a person and I'm grateful for the chance that I have to be better even though I continue to fall from time to time.

So... Recap... Life is simple... Such simple pleasures do truly make you happy, be not afraid to confront your feelings and be direct with those that they effect. AND love yourself inside and out. Be honest with you and share who you are with those around you, never let someone else out shine who you are and be kind hearted in all matters of life. As Elder Holland best said it in 2010 General Conference Saturday session, true love in all areas of life.