October 10, 2009 , 7:30 AM on a Saturday morning my parents and I drove down to the Salt Lake Temple. For the first time in my life I was going in to the house of the Lord to do something that I couldn't wait to do, something that I had worked so hard to come to, I was going in to receive of my endowments. I can't talk about that day with out crying. I can't talk about that day with out being reassured over and over again that God is real that this gospel is true and that life as we live is truly something blessed.
Because of how special that time was in the temple I want to keep personal, but I will share some of my thoughts and feelings from that day and things leading up to that moment. Prior to making the decision to go through the temple, things in my life were a little off balance for my taste. I was struggling with finding me and really understanding where exactly it was that I wanted to be. I had been going back and fourth for sometime over the choice, to go through or to not go through, wait or do it now. I had been talking and working with my bishop and it wasn't till I was sitting in church one day listening to a speaker and they said that there is peace to be had when connecting with your Savior in his house and there is hope to be found when placing your fears in his hands and letting go. In that moment... I knew what it was that I needed to do. I was ready to make that step and committment. I went in to see my bishop and from the moment I walked in to that appointment the process was set in motion. I started taking the temple prep classes and speaking more with my family about what I was preparing to do. And as I was doing so I really came to understand just how close our Heavenly Father was to us and just how real the Savior is.
I'll never forget the stresses that seem to come flowing into my life at that moment once the steps had started. It seemed like the whole world was out to get me and I just couldn't shake that bad feeling. It was a sure sign for me that I was doing the right thing that someone else didn't want me to succeed. Someone else wanted me to fail. That morning walking to the temple it was as though someone had come and just lifted my weights of this world right off of my shoulders, that something just washed over me, helping me to see the joy that is life. I have never felt such greater peace than I did that day. Such a beautiful moment that I will forever cherish.
Now walking out of the temple and being with my family & friends the world seemed so much clearer to me. I felt as though I was looking through someone else's eyes and seeing the world in a completely different way.
That day was amazing. It was amazing for so many reason other than just me receiving my endowments. It was amazing because, 1) I was receiving my endowments. 2) I was there with my parents, brothers, grandparents, and friends. 3) It was my great grandmother's birthday. 4) I was going through the same temple that both of my parents went through for theirs', my brothers had gone through, and my great grandmother had worked in and while working there she was one who helped girls with their first time through. All things were things that completely confirmed to me that I was where I needed and should be.
I have never know such love the way that I felt that day in the temple. I'm so grateful to be apart of this gospel and so grateful to know that there is nothing greater than the love of our Heavenly Father and his begotten son, our Savior. We have no reason to fear, only every reason to live life fully and to embrace the bad as much as we do. To make every moment count for something and to be hopefully when everything seems to be at a lost.
It is my prayer that you all one day get to feel the love that YOUR Heavenly Father has for you. That one day those that are struggling may find the peace that I have and that those who are lonely may always know that they are NEVER alone, that the Lord hears them, loves them, and is always with them. I pray for each of you and hope that love is always yours.
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